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Hola! [18 Nov 2005|02:20pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

Hey guys... haven't written in a while. My bad! I'm a facebook kid now, sorry for the transformation. Anyway though, I just wanted to let all of you know that I appreciate all the birthday wishes and Hincky, I did get your message. Sorry for the number confusion, LoL. I'm going to call you soon. I miss all of you and thanks again!!! I remember my last birthday in Beverly. HaHa, good times. LOVE YOU ALL :)

1 | took a crap

hello again [25 Oct 2005|06:14pm]
[ mood | bored ]

It's been five months and 25 days since I last updated my journal ... my apologies to everyone.

The past months have been so busy. School takes all my time and I think I might be on academic probation. Whomever came up with the notion that we have to go to school all of our lives and then work for the remaining "golden years" is honestly, a miserable, miserable person. I want to work, yes, but I also want to have time to experience other things OUTSIDE of just school and jobs. I mean seriously, I'm about to be 20 in less than a month and I feel as though my time for being a kid is over. Blah! Where did all the years go??

But yeah, I have a new person in my life. Well not exactly a PERSON, but more of a dog. Her name is Brooklyn and she's a rottweiler. She's a little over 2 months old and she's so adorable it makes me sick. LoL, not really. I got her for Greg's birthday (yes we're still together... ONE YEAR ON THE 31st!!!) and he absolutely loves her. I'm starting to believe he loves her more than me... but oh well.

I've stopped partying all the time and I can't tell you the last time I actually went out somewhere. I feel as though I'm always in taking care of the dog or spending time with Greg. Sometimes I think my roommates get mad because I'm with him a lot, but then they all tell me that if their boyfriends were here they would spend all their time with him too. So I dont know. I like spending time with Greg, but you also have to keep time for your friends too. It's just hard sometimes trying to make everyone happy.

I've also been trying to find a job.... no such luck. Pembroke sucks... really. I went to five different places and no one is hiring. Not even Food Lion. I mean seriously, I cant even get a job at a grocery store.

So yeah, it's finally starting to get cold here. I'm so excited to wear hoodies and long sleeves. Sweet doggy.

I'm also dancing again. It's the hiphop team and I'm like one of three white people on the team (and there's like 30 people in total) but if you want to dance, you just gotta be an outcast sometimes. So yeah, I look out of place and i definately can't dance like them, but whatev. They're all like pop locking and shit and then you see me in the back doing the robot. That's the closest I can get.

Anywho... time for dinner.

2 | took a crap

[30 May 2005|04:14pm]
damn, everyone seems to have lost their interest for livejournal. what a sad thing... i never thought i'd see the day. maybe i should stop checking to see if people update because obviously they dont. hope everyone's having a good summer. north carolina is great, lemme tell ya.
2 | took a crap

[16 May 2005|08:20pm]
1 | took a crap

stress balls [04 May 2005|09:52am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Okay so...I just got done with my first exam (History) and then I need to pick up my english portfolio at 11 and then I'll be done for the day. Tomorrow I have my music exam and then Friday I have physical science. Woppity-doo.

I'm sort of ready for summer... but not really. I dont know...I'm not ready to go back to living under a house where I have rules and a curfew that I have to follow. That will be lame considering I'm coming from a place where it doesnt matter what time I come in AND I can be drunk when I decide to return to my domain. But whatever... it's not like I drink that much anyway.

I'm extremely sad about leaving my babooshka. It will be terrible not seeing him everyday and not being able to just walk around the corner, knock on his window and climb into his bed everytime I want to. Now I have to get into a car, drive for 45 minutes and sit on the couch and talk to him casually. No making out freely or doing the nasty whenever we want because now we'll be in our parent's houses when we see each other. That bites...but I will get to see him maybe once every week or two. I hope I get to see him a lot, or else I might die. I love him.

So anyway...I recommend everyone to go out and make a stress ball. It's the only thing keeping me from flinging myself out my 3rd floor window. This is what you do:

1. Take an empty balloon.
2. Dont blow it up or anything, but just pull on it and stretch it out a little.
3. Take a funnel and stick the end into the opening of the balloon.
4. Fill the balloon with flour until it reaches the neck of the balloon.
5. Tie the balloon up and you have a fantastic stress balls that feels really good.

I'm addicted to my stress ball and it really does help you to get things off your mind and relieve some stress. Plus, it feels really cool and it's fun to throw at people because it really does hurt when you get hit with it. But trust me, they're the best things ever (better than buying one) and with exams coming up and all that shit, and having to pack and get everything ready to go home, they're life savers!



My boyfriend is taking me out to dinner tonight for our last date of the school year. We bought a camera the other day and took 27 pictures of just the two of us and each other. I need to go pick those up today when I go to the mall. I think I'm going to buy him a photo album and put all the pictures in there so he'll have an album of his own. I cant help but always want to do stuff for him. He's amazing.

Anywho... everyone go make a stress ball. You wont regret it.

took a crap

[02 May 2005|02:17pm]
So I just got back from doing some stress relieving activities at the UC. First, I made two stress balls out of balloons and flour. Then I made three bags if aroma therapy salts... which smell really good. Then I did the Oxygen Bar. It was pretty cool. Probably better if you go when you're high or something, but it was still a cool experience. I dont have any exams until Wednesday, but I thought while I'm procrastinating on studying, why not relax? Good thinking huh? Anywho... Friday's my last day of exams and then I'll be home for the summer. This year went by so quickly. I cant believe I'll be a sohpmore in college next year and living in an apartment. I really dont want to get old...

Anyway, I got this email from my sister and I copy and pasted it below. It's actually kinda weird, but interesting at the same time. Humans are amazing...

Believe it or not you >can >read > > >>>>it. > > >>>> > > >>>>I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was >rdanieg > > >>>>The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch >at > > >>>>Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers >in a > > >>>>wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist! and lsat >ltteer >be > > >>>>in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll >raed > > >>>>it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed >ervey > > >>>>lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I > > >>>>awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt > > >

Kinda trippy huh? Yeah well... I thought it was cool. You can go quzzle some cum if you think other wise. Bitches.
2 | took a crap

[19 Apr 2005|10:42am]
so yeah I havent updated in a while... but who gives a shit, right?

haha, so anyway... i saw the amityville horror on friday and just to let all of you people know, it was good. so dont listen to dana, she's a cum guzzling queef. yeah.

school gets out in about three weeks. i cant believe the year is almost over. kinda scary... but i'm excited to move into my apartment next year and do all that good stuff. i dont really want it to be summer because then i wont get to see my boyfriend everyday and that will suck. but hopefully things will work out.

other than that... i'm about to go to class and sit and not listen to my teacher and probably take a little nap or something. i really do hate my music class. its a bunch of bullshit.

oh yeah... so i got a myspace account and i kinda like it. so haha to all you livejournal die hard fans. you might wanna go upgrade yourself and get myspace too... dont be a loser.
took a crap

[13 Apr 2005|03:13pm]
[ mood | tired ]

very tired. havent updated in a while...dont have much to say either.

school gets out in a about three weeks. i'm ready to go home for a little while, but i think i might be getting a little bored just sitting at home all the time. i need to find a summer job so i can make lots and lots of money. good luck with that.

i'm mad at my boyfriend today. he's being a jerk. but oh well. maybe tomorrow will be better...at least i hope it will. he's taking me out on a date on friday to see the ammityville horror. and then we're going out to eat...i think. i'm excited. then he's taking me home with him on sunday to meet his mom. i'm nervous. i hope she likes me...

im really excited to move into my very own apartment next semester. i know i'll be sharing it with 5 other girls, but it's going to be a lot of fun and i just want to decorate. one of the girls wants to get a puppy... one of those really small dogs that she can carry around in her bag. i like big dogs, but i could get used to a little dog since there's so many of use in the apartment anyway.

i think thats about all for now.
hincky - i hope your presentation went okay today.


2 | took a crap

[08 Apr 2005|10:05pm]
[ mood | confused ]

The weather has been great here. It's been like in the 70's and 80's all week, except for some rainy days. I havent had much time to just sit outside and enjoy the warmness, but I have been sitting at my desk looking out at the window and watching all the people lay outside and get a tan.
I have a very heavy conscience and I feel as though I have mad a terrible decision. It's nothing major...to some people it's not, but to make a long story short, I was supposed to room with Danielle (my current roommate now) next year, but when we got to the housing assignment thing, I changed my mind and decided to stay in the apartments next year with a bunch of other girls. I asked if she wanted to come, but she said no and I decided to go anyway and leave her with no roommate. I feel like a horrible person and I dont know if I did the right thing. I know I hurt her really bad I feel awful, but I also really want to stay in the apartments with all my friends. Danielle and I make great roommates but when it comes to hanging out and going out and doing all that, we just dont mesh very well. I feel like I made a really selfish decision and I hurt her in the process. She keeps telling me that she's fine and it's really not that big of a deal, but I know she was about to cry at that thing when I decided to go to the apartments. How do you know what the right choice is? I mean, God!!!! I feel so bad for what I did.. but I also want to stay with my friends but I feel as if I shouldnt have left Danielle out. I mean...I dont know. I love her. She's the best and I probably will never have a better roommate than her. But am I supposed to room with someone that I dont really hang out with all that much outside of the room? Or do I room in an apartment with 5 other girls that I do hang out with??? Geez... I'm so lost. I just dont what to do!

1 | took a crap

sundays... [03 Apr 2005|05:31pm]
[ mood | loved ]

I've had a pretty good weekend. It started Friday morning when I woke up next to my beautiful boyfriend and proposed that we take the day off of classes and just spend the whole day in the bed sleeping. Well, we didnt go anywhere, but instead of sleeping we spent the entire day just talking, which was really cool because it's not very often that you sit and talk about everything for a whole day. I loved spending the day with him. Then he went to work and came to my room when he got off and we watched TV until neither of us could keep our eyes open and we fell asleep and he held me all night. :)

Then on Saturday, Cat came down so I hung out with her and then met up with Greg and all his friends and we continued drinking after Carolina won and everyone was in a good mood. Then we decided to go to a party and right when we walked in the cops showed up and so I had to sneek out because Lord knows I cant get caught drinking at anymore parties or I will be suspended. So I managed to lose Greg because somehow he had snuck out before I could and I found him when he came all the way back inside to find me. He was my hero last night.

After that I was really tired and so I snuck Greg up into my room and we cuddled and talked until we both fell asleep. And then this morning I spent time with Cat after we all went to brunch, but now she's on her way back to school. So I'm sitting here in my room... procrastinating on my school work. I cant focus because I am constantly thinking of Greg.

I am in love.

3 | took a crap

bitches [01 Apr 2005|03:35pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

so does no one feel the need to fucking comment anymore? like seriously... ya'll are lames. peace out bitches.

2 | took a crap

::sigh:: [30 Mar 2005|01:53pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Love hurts.

Do you believe that when you meet that one person that you'll end up marrying that you know right away that they're the one? Doesn't it seem that every person you're with you believe at one moment, even if it's for a brief second, that they might be the one? Ask yourself how many times you thought something was promised and it never came to be. Can one really be certain of the future, or do we wish so bad for the fairytale ending that we make ourselves believe something that's not reality? And are some things just actually too good to be true?

I've been asking myself these questions a lot lately but haven't found the answers yet. As I was just watching A Wedding Story on TLC I realized how beautiful love is and whether I'm destined to be loved and be in love like I've always dreamed. I'm with someone now and the way I feel about him is like nothing I've ever felt before. I've discovered that love really does hurt and it's not always fun and games. I've also realized that there's more behind love than just making out and going places together. It's about opening up and being with that person like you've never been with anyone before. But is it possible to love someone this much at this young of an age? I think of my future and I see him. I think about us getting married, about having a family and about taking care of him for the rest of my life. I've picked out names for our children and decided what kind of dog we will have. He's done the same and much of this we have done together. Although we joke and laugh about it, deep down I want to believe that this carefree planning of my future will turn out to be my reality one day. Am I being a crazy fool in love or have I actually found that one person that I'll spend the rest of my life with?

Now that I've become so attached to him, I cant help but think of what will I do if all this doesnt work out? I'm so used to failure when it comes to relationships that I feel that although I want to be with Greg forever, that maybe he doesnt feel the same. Nothing is promised in life...so why should I be so confident that his love is?? Do I really know that he's the one? And how come when you cant live without someone, all you think about is life without them?

I'm terrified of my future. Now that I actually have something to lose, I'm suddenly scared of what might happen. Maybe being loney wasn't so bad because being alone means you have no chance of losing someone and having your heart broken. Or maybe love is also about taking that chance.

I dont know where I'm going with this entry, or what the point of it was. I guess I just needed to get some stuff off my chest.

took a crap

mu ha [25 Mar 2005|04:15pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Happy Belated Birthday JiLL... sorry I didnt have time to write yesterday, but I didn't forget about you!

Yesterday was a very long day for me. I had to go into Laurinburg for a doctor's appointment and my mom drove down so she could go with me. It was stressful and I started crying, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Now I have to go back in 2 weeks and do it all over again :( Hopefully everything will be better soon.

Then as I was driving back from the doctors, I passed my "friend" Taneisha who had wanted me to take her somewhere (like always) and I told her the day before that I didnt have time and that I would try tomorrow and so when I passed her I guess she thought I had gone out and didnt take her so she told another one of our mutual friends that I had an attitude with her and that I was a liar. So that made the day even wrose because she had no clue what I was doing out and personally I'm tired of being everyone's fucking taxi driver. She only calls me when she needs and ride and I'm tired of it. I dont need friends like that. I've just realized over the last couple of weeks that I dont really fit in anywhere at my school... I just need to find a new group of friends or something because this whole thing with them is bothering me.

I just feel like I dont even need friends sometimes. Like I could just be with Greg all the time and be fine with it. But I know that's not possible because then we would get tired of one another and I dont want that.

I miss him though :( My parents invited him for Easter dinner but I dont know if he's coming or eating with his aunt and uncle since his parents are on a cruise.

Anyway- that's all for now.

1 | took a crap

blah [21 Mar 2005|09:07pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I'm so drained right now. I hate feeling like this... but whatever. I was having a good day too, but towards night fall it just got a littl worse.

I really think I need to re-evaluate my friends and see if I really need them in my life and if I really need to put up with bullshit. Sometimes I think I'm overreacting and looking too far into things and I start to see things that arent really there (isnt there a disease like that???? oh boy..) I just feel like my friends are being really shady and sketchy lately... but I dont know if I'm just freakin out about it or what... gosh, this sucks. No one even called me today. But I guess they dont have to... bummer.

This boy from my music class just called (how he got my number I have no clue) and asked to borrow my book and I told him to call me back in 5 minutes because I was on the phone with my parents... but he hasnt called back. I hope he doesnt think I was rude or something... I WANT HIM TO BORROW MY BOOK!!! I want to be nice and friendly to this boy but I cant if he wont call me back. Plus I want him to finish the rest of the homework that I havent completed yet. Geesh, nothings going my way today.

I think I might have upper aged teenage depression. I mean... I'm 19 years old, and this is my last year of being a teenager, but sometimes I still feel like I'm 13 or something. Weird. And I feel like besides Greg, I have no direction and I dont know what I want to do with my life. I do know that I want Greg to be there and in my life, but thats about the only thing I have planned for my future right now. I'm so not into school and all these bullshit classes we have to take. There's too much reading and....reading involved and it's so not interesting. Most of it's not anyway.

Oh boy, he called back. I feel so nice now that I'm letting him use my book. I hope he does the other half of the work though so I dont have to do it tomorrow or not do it and get a bad grade. Geez. I already have a D in that damn music class. It blows.

I need to take a shower but ew they are so gross. I could really go for a bubble bath right now with a side of Greg as well. Hmm... a bubble bath with my baby... that brightens up my night.

So I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about next year and finding a roommate. I mean... I have a roommate ligned up for next year, but I dont know how well we'll get along. She's one of the ones that is acting shady towards me and I'm not real sure why. I mean for God's sake I drive them everywhere they want to go. They use me. I dont know why I let them do it, but I guess because I dont have any other friends to turn to... so I'd rather put up with their shit than have no friends at all. DAMN! I sound like a fucking loser. This never happens...

So I'm pretty much just starring at the computer screen, typing whatever my little fingers put out and just going along with it. But I think I might stop now because I need to wash my ass while I sitll have the energy.


1 | took a crap

[20 Mar 2005|06:24pm]
I just want to say that I love my boyfriend and I def. think we need to get married... LoL... :)

So, Craig... I turned my cell phone on today and got your awesome message from the other day. You guys are hilarious! I thought it was the best. You made my day for sure!!!!!

Thats all for now... too much studying to do.
1 | took a crap

hello again [18 Mar 2005|10:06am]
[ mood | hungry ]

So I havent updated in a couple days... just not really in the mood to. I've been annoyed the last couple of days w/ people... I dont really know why. Just a lot of stuff going on I guess.

So today's Friday and I just got back frm history class. I have another class at 11:30 and then I'm going to go and get some lunch, but until then I'm feasting on wild cherry pepsi and salt and vinegar chips. Yum. Nothing like healthy college food...

Anywho... Greg's working from 3-11pm and then he has to work at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning!!! I hate when he works... I miss him so much and I've decided that I dont have a life outside of him because I hate all my friends and apparently they hate me too so whatever. They can all froth off. Humph.

2 | took a crap

yay! [15 Mar 2005|08:13pm]
took a crap

nothing [14 Mar 2005|11:52am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

I'm such a lazy ass. I had to go to the doctor today and I took my sweet time so I could skip my science class. Damnit... I wish I had more enthusiasm for my classes.

So instead I'm sitting here eating a bowl of oodles of noodles, which, by the way, is the most popular "make it yourself" food for college kids. I have to admite that it's the best invention ever. I love them.

Other than that... I got back from myrtle beach yesterday. It wasnt as great as I thought it would be. My friends all backed out the day of the trip so I ended up going by myself and meeting Greg down there. I got a call from my doctor on the way there that put a little damper on the whole trip. But hopefully everything will get better soon... I hope.

I really want someone to make me an icon with my face on it. Damnit... will anyone do it for me???? Losers.

I have the worst fucking headache ever. I cant take this anymore. I'm tired of feeling tired and having my head hurt and feeling hot and then cold. This is crazy. I have class in approximately 20 minutes that I should really go to. It's english so its not problem going to that class. I actually like english. Except I dont like the teacher because she's lazy and doesnt read any of the papers we right and never posts our grades.

I went into a haunted house in Myrtle Beach with Greg and Alex the other day. They were such babies!!! I was the only girl and they put my ass in the front!! Lex was so scared that he kept trying to push past us and run out. But the halls are so narrow and it's so dark that you cant see anything and you end up running into the wall. They had people jumping out at you and chasing you. They looked like all the main killers (jason, freddy, etc). It was pretty scary but c'mon... the guys were about to piss their pants.

Anyway... I dont have much else to write about.


2 | took a crap

LoL [10 Mar 2005|10:16am]
[ mood | lazy ]

I have to say that Robbie's icon is the best. Dana looks like... I dont know but it totally cracked me up. Nice job.

I'm still waiting on Dana to make me a sweet icon of myself, but she's taking forever on it. Gosh!

Anyway, I'm leaving tonight to go back home. I will miss Boston and NH and I wish I can return again soon. I'm serious... all of us have to take a road trip or something this summer. That would be totally awesome. Let's do it!!!

That's all for now. I have to get some stuff done before I leave.

Love you all!

Hincky- did you have a good birthday????

2 | took a crap

Yawn... [09 Mar 2005|11:17am]
[ mood | chipper ]

So does anyone miss me? I miss all of you. I wish I was still in sweet Bev. so we could all hang out and be losers together. But instead I'm sitting her just... ya know... doing nothing with myself. My sister's at work so I'm waiting for her to get home in another 5 hours. The weather is great. I havent seen it snow or anything in such a long time. I love it. But I'm also excited to go to Myrtle Beach on Friday. I really hope our plans work out. PLEASE GOD - HAVE MY TRIP TO MYRTLE BEACH BE STRESS FREE!!!

(sorry JiLL...I had to steel your prayer idea)

Anywho... I have to go now.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY HINCKY!! I called you and left you a message... did you get it?

11 | took a crap

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